Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Starting over

Unbeknownst to me when you disappear off Blogspot for about two years it appears you lose your blog page too. After a bit of email banter with a good friend this afternoon, I decided to resume my former random rantings and gibberish only to discover I could not log on to that page anymore. So all those witty (well they were at times), pictures, anecdotes and other bits have vanished into a cyber grave of sorts. Quite a shame really it would have been funny to read.

Anyway, thought I would write again as a ridiculous amount has happened and I haven't kept anyone up to date.

I now live in Nashville, Tennessee; where I write for a magazine called, Relevant (though I if I don't get cracking on my latest piece I may not be for much longer-insert sheer panic and writers block here) and I volunteer with a wonderful church called, The Anchor Fellowship.

I've realised that I do not tend to write much when I'm in the middle of an emotional typhoon and moving out to the US did exactly that to me. There is a huge blank in me to find the right words to describe the excitement, anticipation, anxiety, fear, panic, concern and homesickness I've been feeling over the last two and a half months. The strange line of thoughts that keep coming which see-saw from complete confidence to 'what the bloody hell have I done?'.

Christmas and my birthday has just passed and it was different, for lack of a better word. Gone was the overheated cinnamon coloured kitchen walls with mulled wine filling the air and hot mince pies being downed very fast with ice cream. Gone was the tinkering of Bing Crosby and his chorus girls and Mum drowning out all the vocals. And gone was Dad by the Christmas tree giving his annual speech about the woes and highs of the year whilst we greedily eyed our presents.

Instead it was a more sedate affair of waking up pottering around my American family's home and quietly trying to recreate 'home' Christmas from thousands of miles away all the while begruding the fact America does not stock Bisto gravy or Paxo sage and onion stuffing!

It is now New Year's eve and I'm slowly losing the feeling in my finger tips because our house is like a fridge (all due to the fact it has NO central heating!), my nose is not sure if it wants to run or remain blocked and my mind is still trying to work out how it became the end of the year.

I do not have any resolutions so far-although that is not to say I do not believe in them. This year was about 'Others' for me and I hope I achieved in putting others first and using my gifts to tell their stories. But I just cannot work out what next year will be all about.

I am writing again. That older children's fiction story that has been torturing me for the last five years by either refusing to come out of my head or hiding so deep it had lost itself. Well now it's here and ironically is called, 'Hide and Seek', for now at least, publishers always change these things. But the best bit isn't the thought of being published; its writing and just getting all these conversations and plots out of the knots in my head and double spaced on my screen. I need to write up a coherent synopsis and put it up here for you. I have also had offers from an Illustrator so I'll put up some of their work once I have it.

All exciting stuff.

Have the happiest, truest New Year you can muster!

Thanks for reading these ramblings!