Friday, February 4, 2011

Old hearts

Today was about writing, editing, researching, cleaning, meeting and greeting old friends and new.

Today I learned that an engaged couple I knew broke it off.

People break up all the time. Feet start to chill; hearts start to clog and thump slowly, words that can't be retracted are spoken and suddenly they're at the edge of a pier looking over.

Perhaps it's because only days before it ended there were small, public notes of love and a promise of a summer's eve wedding at the start of the year.

Or maybe it's because the two people involved are such wondrous souls, full of wisdom, love and courage.

Whatever it is - we're baffled. I'm baffled. My heart is sore to hear think of the bleeding pain in both of them.

I'm trying not to be Agatha Christie's Poirot here to retrace the last few steps. I'm trying to respect its mystery.

May time be kind to them.

Thursday, January 27, 2011



Love my rings more each day :)

My parents are in love...

And so are we :)

My husband is a stud.

I knew Camden was full of Pirates!

We love Sunday mornings and coffee shops.

My husband likes making us fruit smoothies like this one:

Sunday, January 9, 2011


I've written on this topic far too many times to make any waves now but still something about knowing that this time will be for the foreseeable future has wrung out my insides.

We've lived and worked in London since April 2010. We've found a good church, made some new friends, felt ourselves (me) losing that connection with old ones, re-learned what it means to be at home with my parents and what it means to be husband and wife on the road.

The changes in the government and the economic climate has for sure dashed any hope we had for really throwing down some roots here. As the fares hike up, salaries stay low, workload increases with the impending doom of the guillotine (unemployment) it's been hard to see how we would ever start our own family and home life.

I think besides my family and a few faithful (you know who you are) the number of friends we've had has been so pitiful. It's been hard to build when everyone is so perpetually busy. For Kendall coming from a very interwoven community of friends who may as well be extended family this has been a very hard season.

And now, as we apply for my US residency it is hitting me all over again that I'm about to be flung out wide to start all over without my sweet and trying Mai, my loving but scatty Dad, my wide-eyed and wandering brother, my chatty and at times pensive younger sis, my bubbly and so strong older sister and her gorgeous boys.

It's that old feeling I had before I left England for Nashville that time- but this time peppered with the sage.

I'm missing them and I haven't left yet. I'm crying but my passport hasn't been approved for US soil.

I'm leaving so I can have a chance of home for my own family too.

If only there were a way of throwing a rope out that could draw Britain and America closer together. I would stand on the shores of New York and call, call, call, home.

Saturday, January 1, 2011


What is one to make of things when their sibling asks their husband to be a godparent but clearly has no need for the said one?

If there was ever any doubt that I am not close to my siblings then here it is. And yet, despite my age, the love of a truly loving husband and some times testing parents- feeling like the outsider amongst my brother and sisters leaves me in such loud loneliness.

P.S. Despite this blue tinged note- I wish you all a very Happy New Year.