Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Something about that makes me sick

I'm not sure if I've simply become horribly jaded and cynical with age but I can't dispel the deep dislike of everything that tries very hard to be christian.

That whole thing of an evangelism campaign and doing certain things for others with lots of coverage because these poor heathens need to hear it.

I haven't lost my faith or even forgotten Jesus' last words on earth before he teleported to heaven but I just think that He wanted more for us. He wanted us not to make a mission out of it and a thing out of it or a campaign (incorporate) out of it, but simply to be it.

For our very core to be shaken to such disgust at the evil in the world that we do not need anymore snazzy branded ministries to join the good race.

For it not be another cleverly PR'ed staged event, with flashing lights, smoke machines and at times incredibly corny music.

But perhaps to simply meet these people on their own turf, without the fanfare and glimmer at the good work that's being done and simply slipping in the background and loving them so profusely but never for a minute becoming the headline act.

Gracious, I probably do sound dreadfully biting here, but I have seen so many gimmicky, cheesy and tummy turning objects that have Jesus's name, a branded scripture and apparently the power to change someone's life, I'm about ready to burst.

This isn't to say all these numerous ministries are solely money churning machines with the added benefit of doing a good deed. There are some amazing, truly amazing souls sacrificing their very hearts to love those overlooked and receiving no glittering praise for being a 'mega church Pastor' with a ministry named after themselves. And for all of those that go unnoticed by us, I know God sees them. He always has been about working in secret and loving expansively.

Quite simply put, perhaps people just want to be befriended and loved not to join ranks and become something but because they are God's creation.

And honestly, we really don't need stomach churning objects to do that.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Losing touch

Facebook, as terrible a distraction as it is and encourager of cyber-stalking, is also a reminder to how we can fall out of contact with people.

I've never liked goodbyes, they're filled with too much and they tend to resonate in my head for seasons afterwards, but I've realised sometimes I've said goodbye without ever saying it.

I live in Nashville, TN, but there is a whole world, community and bunch of people that I used to know back in England. Indeed the very nearest and dearest have remained in contact but as I look through photographs I see the stories of so many others play out and realise we are no longer part of each other's lives.

Perhaps this is just the natural order of things. To get the new you have to free yourself up to accommodate it. To be fully part of your present you have to stop strangle-holding your past. You have to accept that this is what happens when one grows up. They move out of home, get a job somewhere, move into their own place, make new friends, find love, make life.

And yet as blissfully promising as that all sounds I still look at these same photographs and ache because I know there have been too many conversations that haven't been had, too many stories that haven't been told, too many moments that haven't been shared to keep the once friendship a now friendship.

Sad, but true.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Girl crush

I wonder how many of you thought this was going to be an explosive entry of sorts ;) Go on, be honest.

Sorry to disappoint but all it really points to is my new found love for KT Tunstall. I've always liked her music and style for a good while and feel like she's been around longer on our airwaves and iTunes longer than she has, but recently my love has reached new heights of appreciation.

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact she's an instrumentalist-competent at a selection of musical devices. Or maybe it's her voice which sounds old and playful at the same time as it sings out and through her penned lyrics. Then again, it could be because she's from Scotland, a place of lore and myths and unbelievable scenery and deep, deep history.

Or perhaps it's her widely spoken about attitude to her life as an adopted child, which didn't make her feel unloved but lucky, knowing her life could have turned out a thousand different ways. Her birth's initial rootlessness paved the way for a creative mind and thoughts of endless possibilities. I think it's the richness of such hope in her that makes me think what a woman.

Plus how can you not respect someone who plays guitar (electric, acoustic and bass), drums, piano and the voicebox to name but a few?

Thursday, July 16, 2009


Perfect love drives out all fear.

Monday, July 13, 2009

July, thus far

I have an awful cold. One of the ones where your throat is so sore if feels like you're scratching it out with your own nails.

I have survived a hugely busy period at work where I was an artist, problem solver, runner (mainly to Michael's), printer, decorator, hostess, promoter and gaffer.

I then survived Cornerstone where I managed to stay afloat during freezing cold nights spent praying in the tent whilst a hardcore band screamed again that they're doing this for the Lord, burning sun that made my forehead sting, the smell of BO, damp dank grass which made me want to heave, friendships that could never have been made any other way if it wasn't for the rains, being cramped on buses and smelling to the heavenlies.

Then a trip up to Indy where I went to see about a boy and came back smiling like a Chesire cat.

This isn't the most lyrical note I've ever written-but it has oodles of love in it. Promise.