Monday, June 8, 2009

Home

It seems I have grown an odd obsession with that one word. Whether for it's meaning or description; I have knitted it in my mind at regular intervals until I now have something to wrap around me a thousand times over.

It's been described as several things including the starting position of the cursor on a text-based computer display.

But I have become rather fond of this conclusion;

" A) An environment offering security and happiness.

B) A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin."

Sometimes it feels as if the battle in my head is won and I know where I am standing and I know who I am and I know why I am here. But then other times, there's a reprise of the same question; perhaps spun differently; but there nevertheless.

Maybe it's because I feel as if I am living a very transient life. Always scribbling dreams and packing up boxes and books. Planning farewell evenings and reconnecting over cyber letters. Collecting names and stories, faces and voices. And all the while still not quite having the sense I'm there yet.

This is not a charmed life, though it does have it's sweetness in the countless lives of those who have opened their hearts and homes to me. I have received so much and yet still I am near empty, waiting for my fill and my turn, of a place I know without doubt is that little four lettered word.

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